Once upon a heartbeat skipped
When time stood silently in awe
I lost my way and found myself
Entangled in your beauty pure.
I floundered weakly in your skin
Draped gracefully over bones so fine
Lay mesmerised by flowing hair
That breathed and moved in ways sublime.
Helpless to escape my fate
Set adrift upon those eyes so deep
I ebbed and flowed, by your design
Until released – yet forever yours to keep.
Should our vehicles meet
Upon some narrow lane
And I give way
Or you give way to me.
I shall not put my hand up –
That is a gesture you will not see.
I will not raise one finger
Let alone three or even two
A movement which only says out loud
I won’t release the wheel for you.
What you will get is a thumbs up;
A sign of gratitude clear and loud.
A simple way of showing thanks
And that I feel you’ve done me proud.
Because saying thank you is endangered,
It’s too much effort to say “thank you”
These days it’s all too easy
For folk not to acknowledge you.
So I will put my thumb up
In an almost exaggerated way
To show I’m grateful for courtesy
As I go about my day.
If you see me driving:
Tall bloke, handsome, with a beard
Don’t think my gesture is too much,
Or think me rather weird.
Instead accept I recognize
That your gesture – no matter how brief
Gives me hope in mankind once again
And rekindles my belief.
Friday the Thirteenth is upon us
A day for misfortune and bad luck.
So don’t step on any cracks in the pavement
And be sure not to lock eyes with a duck.
Don’t send your children to school with a side parting,
And avoid eating all types of cheese.
Be careful to say hello to any spiders
But under no circumstances look at their knees!
It would be foolish to polish your elbows;
Eating custard would only tempt fate.
Wearing snails today is also too risky
As is carrying your shoes on a plate.
This day is not one for the use of consonants.
If you must talk, please only use vowels.
Be also mindful of being too windy or gassy:
Tragedy follows farts heard by an owl.
If you have pets, make sure they always face eastward;
Light a candle, in a cupboard – keep it locked.
If you have to use public transport
Fill your underwear with pebbles and rocks.
In the office avoid sending emails
If you haven’t at first licked the screen.
And it’s bad luck to take any instruction
If your line manager isn’t in Green.
Never shake hands with a bicycle.
Try not to turn right if you can.
Avoid sniffing more than twice in an hour.
And wear trousers made out of spam.
This unlucky day is a minefield
My advice here could save you from woe.
But just to be safe, take your clothes off
And let somebody else pick your nose.
I understand
I see the reason
This year’s been one long
Awful season
Coronavirus just took life out
Of that there really is no doubt.
Thought the US election might spice things up
But no – and like a drinking from a leaking cup
We found ourselves annoyed, and disappointed
Tediously waiting for the chosen one to be anointed.
Emotionally stained, we wanted to labitulate
As the results s
l
o
w
l
y trickled in…..
State….
By….
State….
It’s Lockdown 2 here in the UK
As once again we lose track of days
Confined to our homes watching the world’s drama
Drinking Gin in our pyjamas,
And it’s only 9am.
By 2nd December we could again be free
To enjoy this second hand reality.
Because face it – this isn’t the 2020 that we chose
How long this will go on for – no-one knows
But we do know that it isn’t going well
Or perhaps we’re all sinners – in a really crap hell.
I guess these times are sent to remind us,
Test us and tell us
Life is sometimes like that one kitchen drawer in our lives.
You know the one; the one where random things come to die.
It’s empty, except for an old ice cube tray,
The instruction manual for a microwave long since thrown away
A key that opens something – you forget.
And a fork that isn’t part of your cutlery set.
No-one knows how long that drawer has been like that
Or who deposited in it this collection of tat.
So what to do with it – now that’s the bet.
Shut the drawer, and ignore them?
Move on and forget.
We could.
It would be the easy thing to do.
Or…..
We could try to use them.
Make something new.
Stick the fork in the ice cube tray as a mast,
Use the instructions as a sail, taped to the fork fast.
The key as a rudder, to steer on our way
In our random-made sailboat,
To sail us away.
W Is For Duck 