What if, if what We tried to do Was for the best For me and you? Gave us a feeling Deep inside Of joy, delight And selfless pride And in that moment There and then Invoked a need To do again And again and again And again and again. And rather than think Oh, no I couldn’t We’d start to see Why we shouldn’t Do more for others And ourselves Drop safely down from Off our shelves We we have sat Watched and perceived Safe from harm To you and me No fear of failure Or embarrassment From reaching Outcomes Not quite meant And therefore be seen Of felt to be A person of less worth Than in reality. Not why, Why not? Ignore the firing line Take the shot Put yourself out there Without a care Don’t say I can’t But shout I dare. If you knew You wouldn’t fail How wide would be Your blazing trail?
'In truth, one cannot really be arsed’ The Queen might say, If she were asked About withdrawing from public life To quell the rumours that are rife.
'There’s nothing else for one to do, Been there, done that You know it's true. Seventy years sat upon the throne I'd now like to be left alone.
For once I'm thinking about my health Not doing laps Of the commonwealth. I'm a human - with aches and cramps Not just the face of postage stamps.
Opening events, unveiling plaques One's so fed up With all of that. On one's feet for bloody hours Sick to death of gifts and flowers
I'm ninety-six; I've got RSI From constant waving As I pass by One bicep's bigger than my neck I can choke a swan with just one flex
And I'll tell you this, and it's a fact: I'm sick to death Of the Union Jack Wherever I am, there's one in view What's wrong with flags in a pastel hue?
Some want to end the Monarchy, Let one just say That's fine with me. I'm just a symbol of a bygone age That's used to fuel empirical rage
Attenborough doesn't have it this tough Though when I go I won't be stuffed. It's not the process - I'm way past caring Its more the thought of more people staring
My mind's made up: It's time to go. I've done my duty, I've been on show Wheeled out with pageantry and pomp To demonstrate class to Donald Trump
Well, no more - it's now about me. Not consigned To history As England's longest reigning queen One's off to find a brand new scene.
A life awaits of my own free will I'm not dead yet Life in me still In charge of my own affairs and health God hasn't saved me - so I'll save myself!'
W Is For Duck 